"Leaning"

 Leaning

I've been leaning on you for a span that's contrived

My galaxies' gait to become too deprived

I've leaned on you for far too long

My gait has stumbled seeking song

I think my patience and my will

Required I let the dazzle fill

Dismissal of the dazzle back

Requires I take another tack

The question of my willingness to stumble right along

Is not a question new in sense of lyrics of the song

My dazzle hasn't sputtered

But, masked beneath what's muttered

I hoped that you could make the leap

Which made of me a wretched heap

But, it was sure a lot to take

My rambles and my brambles rake

I tried the graceful exits, every kind

Here I'm back, again, is what I find

I tried to exit gracefully

But, will and life remained with me

But, that's another story

Might not be to my glory

So, here I stand, my stride is back

While love for you, it does not lack

I have to keep the stride of worlds

To bitter end or endless swirls

To raze the spectre of the dead

That splinters actions in our head

What is the difference in the man

That learns to love with all he can

Not the stumbled stride of brute

But, loving whole, right to the root

He loves a woman as he can

But, grovels not, he is a man

No animal that merely begs

That is not written in the regs

For Humans are another sort

They love for love and not for sport

What is the essence of a man

To hide from nothing, heed no ban

Clarity must be the call

For Human to avoid the fall

Face his demon, only one

Failure irks until it's done

Destroys the Human from within

Causing race to hear the din

The clamour of forsaken soul

Must realize it can be whole

And hear the clairing call

That clarity is all

So, stride is back but time has gone

I don't expect to see new dawn

For all the race

Is at a pace

That leaves me with no words to make the song

Alone from the beginning, all day long

No interchange relieves the burden's blight

No way for to reveal the coming light

No answers come when it is only one

Be that as it may, I seek the sun

A simple gait for legs that stride the All

The lock and key will come, or not at all

Impatiently I wait for what's required

I'd rather move on to a life inspired

But, that is what began this lengthy verse

Explain to you, at length, and not be terse

The ending of the witless, beastly curse

I stand on my own as the gravity pulls

I'd rather move on as the gravity dulls

We can't be human sans our pride

In our race and in our stride

In all we do must be respect

Back we go to missing speck

In all we do must be the pride

Back we go to missing stride

As long as men deceive themselves

The deeper in the lies he delves

Refuting all of reason's ways

As in the muck, his lack he lays

Taken in stride, it's simple to do

But, broken the stride of race to construe 

That all becomes right with the men and their ways

As they learn of the love and its brightening rays

Rather than scoffing at that which they fear

That they're not up to that they hold dear

The misery caught behind every eye

Telling the story of life gone awry

No more to rely on a wing and a prayer

Now I reveal all the landscape, so bare

Confounding sight for all to see

Setting soul and notions free

I cannot question any longer

Landscape that can make us stronger

The clarity's required, my dear

The fog, it lifts, the view is clear

I cannot question any longer

As clarity becoming stronger

I was really tempted to name it Lastly but, damned if the bugger doesn't keep finding reasons to return.

I think I've finally figured it out.  Thinking something makes a thought ephemeral.  Writing it down helps make it concrete.  Writing in rhoetry makes it present, elegant, and enjoyable to write.  It also helps me carefully explore what is really going on.  This one, in particular, took some doing.  I am entering the third chapter and I'm still not certain how to proceed.

Gaia, I'm tired of this!